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Edited by Garion Riva, Ben Rubenstein, Dave Crosby, Sondra C and 44 others
Whether you're about to start your first day at a small private
school or at a large university, making new friends in college can be an
intimidating experience. But if you want to make friends in college,
all you have to do is remember that everyone is just as nervous and
scared as you are and start being social as soon as possible, before
social circles start closing down. If you want to know how to make
friends in college in no time at all, just follow these steps.
EditMethod 1 of 3: Being Active
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1
Join a club or two. This
is the easiest and most effective way to meet new people with similar
interests. Don't be afraid of going by yourself. That is the only way
you can get to know people in a personal level, especially in these huge
universities. Smaller colleges and community colleges may not have as
many clubs, but if they do, they are related mainly to a technical
program. During the first weeks everyone is going by themselves. If you
are joining late, just remember that most groups will be very happy to
show you around. You could try a group relating to your interests, or a
totally random club.
- Check your college website, Facebook profiles, and flyers around the
school for when clubs meet and what clubs you can join. You can start
your own club too.
- Most colleges have a club fair on the second or third week of
school. Don't be "too cool" to check this out. You'll get a sense of
what type of people are in each club just by talking to the
representatives at each booth.
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2
Join an intramural or club sports team.
Sports are a great way to meet new people because you all have a common
goal. If you don't like the stress of intercollegiate sports, you can
go into inter-murals. You spend a lot of time together practicing and it
helps develop teamwork. Most of the time your team does turn into
family. If you are not athletic, try going into something like theatre
or music.
- If you were obsessed with your high school tennis team and have
joined a club team, you won't have the same level of commitment and team
work. Still, you can meet some great friends this way.
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3
Get a job. Often,
finding a position as a tour guide or a clerk in the bookstore will
allow you to form common bonds with your coworkers which could reward
you with new friendships, and a little spending money. You can do it
outside the college too.
- Pick a job where a lot of students or people your age are likely to
work. If you work at a day care center, you won't meet as many friends
as you would at a high-school tutoring center.
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4
Take an elective.
Electives (especially the ones that are lab based) are a great way to
make new friends. If you are interested in music, try taking band or
choir, or some music production course. If you have a passion for art,
take an art class. If you are interested in athletics, take a bowling or
weightlifting class. If you really like health care, take a psychology
or biology course. But don't overdo it and try to keep your classes
related to your major.
- You can also pick classes that are more socially-oriented. Classes
with a lot of discussion and group work, along with coursework that
requires interacting with new people may help. That include
communication, sociology, psychology, political science, etc.
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5
Don't be too cool for Facebook.
This is not the time to be original. If you're not on Facebook, the
people you meet are much less likely to remember you, to stay connected
with you, and to invite you to their events. With the modern era of the
Internet, when you are sitting on here finding out how to make friends
in college, add some people in your college or your community -- after
you've met them, that is. Join campus groups on Facebook with common
interests and you can meet some new friends that way.
- Being reasonably active on Facebook after you've made a bunch of new
Facebook friends will keep you on their radar. Just don't spend more
than 15-30 minutes a day on Facebook or you'll be missing out on the
time you can spend socializing in the real world.
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6
Volunteer. Volunteering
at a local soup kitchen or animal shelter, or even at your college, is a
great way to meet new people or make friends. It will also look great
on your resume and will help you get a job. Volunteering through Circle K
or another volunteer organization on campus will make you even more
likely to make friends.
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7
Consider rushing a fraternity or a sorority.
Joining Greek life is definitely not for everybody, but don't knock it
until you try it. On some college campuses, Greek life is a major part
of the social scene, and you can be missing out on a major opportunity
to make lifelong friends just because you're skeptical of the rush
process. On other campuses, Greek life only makes up a small minority of
student activities -- still, it could be a fantastic way to make
friends.
- Greek rush is about meeting people that you click with, which is
basically like speed friend-dating. If you get the wrong vibe from a
sorority, no one will force you to join it.
- Even if you don't end up landing in the sorority or fraternity of
your dreams, you can make a lot of great friends through the rushing
process.
EditMethod 2 of 3: Being Social
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1
Go to events. There's
nothing like a good football game to build camaraderie. If football
isn't your thing, there are usually poetry readings, concerts, art
shows, dances, contests, or other events around campus. Asking people
about local events is a useful conversation starter. But hey, if
football isn't your thing and you go to Ohio State or University of
Michigan, you should probably go to a game or two to see what the hubbub
is about. It's not just about the game -- it's about the social
experience.
- Go to something completely fun or ridiculous, like a magic show or a
belly-dancing contest. Step out of your comfort zone and see who you'll
meet in the process.
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2
Talk to people. You
can't make many new friends while sitting in a dark corner of the
library unless there are other people just like you sitting in the dark
corner of the library. Ask people who take classes with you questions
about the material covered. Even if you don't have a question, classwork
is a great icebreaker. Other great conversation starters are upcoming
events and holidays/vacations, sports, food, music, etc.
- When you talk to a new person, remember his or her name. Use it the next time you meet, and the person will be impressed.
- State the obvious too. Usually when you are eating, you talk about
food and if you hear music, you automatically talk about music.
- When you meet someone new, tell them one thing to remember you by.
You're the girl who is a triplet, or who has a pet snake. Make them
remember you.
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3
Don't do your homework in your dorm room or apartment.
Most dorms have a lounge or common area where you can work instead.
When you must be in your dorm for studying, leave the door open. Try to
put a TV on or some music to attract more people into your dorm. If
you're an outdoors person, go outside to work. While you may not enjoy
the same level of privacy, people will approach you in time.
- Try studying on other parts of campus, too. The campus has many common areas where you can study and congregate.
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4
Go to parties. These
will be scary at first (loud music, drunk seniors, etc.), but
eventually, you will find your groove. College is about having a good
time (as well as getting your degree) so have some fun! If you are not
the type to go to the hardcore parties, a school or community dance
might help too. You can also have small quiet parties if you are not
into these big frat parties such as having a movie night, slumber party,
or sports party.
- Just stay safe and go with a group. In the first few weeks of
school, people travel in packs of people usually from their dorm rooms.
Try not to get separated from them too much -- keep a buddy system going
with one friend, at least.
- Embrace the theme. If a party has a theme, dress up. Don't be a stick in the mud.
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5
Check out events in your town.
Most students get completely wrapped up in their college campus and
forget to check in with the outside world from time to time. If you're
at a smaller school, you can meet people off campus and in the
community. Check out events like movies, the mall, bowling, festivals,
fairs, local shows and concerts, and even go shopping at bit. This is a
great way to meet people of all ages, not just college students.
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6
Take advantage of any previous acquaintances.
Maybe you're going to college with a girl you knew from math class, or
with your second cousin's best friend. Treat these people as valuable
resources, even if you don't have so much in common. This will make it
easier and your acquaintances will more likely have friends that are
like you. You can hang out with your old buddies from high school, but
be sure to make sure you get out of your nest and meet new people too.
- And you never know -- your old acquaintance can turn in to a best friend.
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7
Be approachable. Part of
being social is making it easy for people to walk up and start a
conversation with you. Try to look available instead of furiously
tapping into your iPhone or walking to your class so quickly that you
can't stop and smell the (conversational) roses. Be nice to other
people, open doors for people, help them with their homework. These
small things will help you a long way.
- Really, just taking the time to smile at people you don't know will make them much more likely to go up and talk to you.
EditMethod 3 of 3: Starting Off on the Right Foot
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1
Try to make friends before school starts.
Some colleges offer a variety of activities before fall classes start.
This could be a week-long trip spent volunteering in the area, or a
camping trip where you and your future classmates would form bonds that
could last forever. Your school may also have local incoming freshman
meet-ups in your area in the spring before school starts; go to these
with a big smile on your face. Though this kind of thing may sound
corny, or like doing more work before school, it will definitely pay off
when it comes to making friends.
- You may not meet your new best friend at these events, but you're
likely to meet a few people that you can hang out with who will make you
feel less afraid of socializing. And the more people you know, the more
likely you are to meet someone you really like.
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2
Start socializing immediately.
When you get to college, everyone will be incredibly friendly, eager to
shake your hand and ask for your number, and to talk openly about their
high school experience and college plans. This is absolutely a fact:
for the first few weeks of school. If you spend those first few weeks
being homesick, calling your best friend, or generally engaging
antisocial behavior, you will miss your chance to randomly introduce
yourself to people in the cafeteria, in your class, or in your dorm.
- If you wait too long, people will start listening to their iPods,
drifting into their set groups of friends, and closing their doors to
new people. This may sound harsh, but that's the way it goes.
- When you meet a new person, don't be afraid to ask for his or her number, whether it's a potential friend or love interest. In the beginning, this is completely socially acceptable and won't come off as creepy.
- When you meet new people, it's also a good idea to make plans with
them. Say, "Hey, are you going to that party tonight?" or "Are you
checking out the a cappella show too?" Finding something cool to do will
make people more likely to agree to hang out.
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3
Ditch the long-distance relationship.
Though about 1 in 1,000 college long-distance relationships have proven
to last, it's just not worth it for you to keep up this charade. You're
only 18, or 22 at most, and you should spend this time meeting new
people, exploring your options, and spending your time outside your dorm
room -- not on the phone with your boyfriend who is all the way up in
Michigan, planning your fourth visit of the month. Nothing will isolate
you from your potential friends or make you feel lonely faster.
- You don't have to meet the love of your life in your college --
heck, you probably won't -- but closing yourself off before you begin
the search is guaranteed to make you more antisocial.
- If you really are devoted to your long-distance relationship, make
sure to keep your phone conversations relatively brief and to plan as
few visits during the first few months of college as possible.
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4
Branch out from your roomies if you don't really click.
Sure, your roommate seems kind of normal and is pretty nice. Does that
mean you should spend the next four years glued to this person? Probably
not. Your roommate is a great person to hang out with for the first few
weeks of school, and who can help you meet some new people. But if you
just have the sense that you're not friend soul mates, stop using your
roomie as a crutch.
- You don't have to ditch your roommate completely. Just be prepared
to go out and do your own thing instead of following him around.
- Sometimes, it's better if you and your roommate have a friendly, but
not too close relationship. This can help avoid future awkwardness if
you start having issues about living together.
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5
Find a friend who is even more social than you.
Your college will be filled with an endless variety of people. Some of
them will be shy, and others will be about as shy as Justin Bieber. You
should find a balance of friends, of course, but you should pick out at
least one person, or even a few people, who have really great social
skills, are excited to meet knew people, and are always up to something
exciting.
- This will maximize your chances of meeting as many people as possible -- and of finding the few people who really matter to you.
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6
Don't humiliate yourself too much.
Though college is all about making mistakes and bad decisions and
living to regret them, you should try to avoid making a spectacle of
yourself -- too much. Have some fun, get crazy, and dance wildly with
your friends, but don't be the girl who pukes in the shower or hooks up
with three guys on the first night of college. Unfortunately, you will
be remembered for your mistakes, not for all of your great qualities.
- Don't be afraid of stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new
things; but do be wary of developing a bad reputation early on.
- Having sex in college may be glamorized in the movies, but it will
have many costs to your success in college, such as the possibility of
STDs that could be deadly or getting someone pregnant when you are not
ready. If you do, make sure you are well protected and try to do it at
your own risk.
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7
Don't give up. Freshman
year is a major change and many people flip out and give up. Many
freshman still haven't left their nest and the transition from being
with close friends, siblings, or with their parents to a new environment
might be difficult. This usually happen with students that go to
college that is far away from home. Don't let this happen to you. It may
take an entire year before you really start meeting people. Some
college students who are not in sports, music or theatre, or in some
technical program don't meet people really well until sophomore and even
junior year!
- Realize that once you have a major targeted (or are in a technical
program or trade) and are done with your general classes, you'll find
several people who have a similar schedule.
- This eases the friend-making process tenfold. If you are taking
generals, try to have a path too in your major so you can easily meet
people with common goals and interests.
- Be yourself. College students are all in the same boat as you, so
you don't have to put on an act. They can find a phony and people don't
like phonies. Look at all the "fake thugs" and "fake rednecks" on TV.
- Don't judge people.
- Don't be a jerk. Nobody likes a bully. Try and make nice complements
to people such as "Nice shirt" or "I like your dorm room. Do not say "I
don't like the color of your shirt" or "You're ugly." Just remember
that if you're a bully, nobody will like you!
- If you live close to your hometown, you can still keep in touch with
your hometown friends. You can also keep track of them on Myspace,
Twitter, and Facebook.
- If you live in a dorm, leave the door to your room open as much as
possible. Try to hang in the community room or commons area as much as
possible, or hang around at the school.
- If you are in a community college, the more adult way of making friends is more the way to go. See Make Friends.
Edit Warnings
- Don't play dumb to try to gain others attention. It will hurt you in the long run.
- Don't fall to hazing. If someone asks you to do something illegal,
should they really be your friend? This is very common when you are a
freshman. Be ready for freshman initiation.
- Be cautious if you decide to leave your dorm room door open. People
have been known to steal from others during college, so if you do decide
to leave your room open for friends, remember to keep everything you
wouldn't want stolen locked up well.
- Don't be annoying. Nobody likes a pest!
- Try not to get into drinking if you are underage, illegal drugs,
gang activity, illegal gambling, dumb pranks, criminal activity, or
unprotected sex. These will change your future very fast.
Article Info
Recent edits by: WanderWoman, BlobStuff, Jeff
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